Why top EPL clubs want Jose Mourinho
Neil Humphreys
January 26, 2012

The fans chanted The Special One’s name. It echoed endlessly around the stadium during the midweek Clasico: “Mourinho, stay! ... Mourinho, stay! ... Mourinho, stay!”

It was a clear statement of intent. They wanted the coach to remain.

The only slight drawback for the Real Madrid man was the chant belonged to Barcelona supporters.

They were mocking him, ridiculing him, calling upon him to stay with their arch enemies so they may sustain both their swagger and superiority over Real Madrid.

With the Catalans going through to the next round of the Copa Del Rey, knocking out the holders in the process, Mourinho is again left to ponder that most rare and wretched of statistics – a losing streak. Under the Portuguese coach, Real have overcome Barcelona once in 10 matches.

There is open dissention in the dressing room, growing frustration over his defensive tactics and a mole in the camp guilty of more leaks than an incontinent dog.

Mourinho needs to return home to the English Premier League.

Indeed the question isn’t will Mourinho return to England, but when. I’m thinking June, after he’s wrapped up the La Liga title, allowing him to “do an Inter Milan” and leave on a high, the shiny silverware deflecting attention away from any sins that went before.

The man who would be EPL king would not be short of thrones either.

Six of the top seven clubs would conceivably have a vested interest in seeing how Mourinho’s disintegrating relationship with Real plays out. Here’s why:

1)     Manchester City

The Middle Eastern moneybags bankrolling Roberto Mancini’s title push have been content to cower behind their cash – unless it involves the filthy lucre directly. Earlier this week, Khaldoon al-Mubarak, the City chairman, broke his silence, criticising both Carlos Tevez for being an unproductive mercenary and AC Milan for trying to get the awful Argentine on the cheap. Neither would be allowed to dictate terms to City’s owners. They expect a return on every petrodollar. Mancini will not be spared such a harsh evaluation either. As holders, City’s exit from the FA Cup to their Manchester neighbours was unfortunate, but there were mitigating circumstances (injuries, international duties, wayward refereeing). Their departure from the Carling Cup to Liverpool – a side that had made Bolton look like Barca – was less expected. That’s two trophies gone in as many weeks. Should an injury-ravaged United dig a trench through the piles of cash at City and reach the Promised Land, Mancini’s campaign will be deemed a failure. When Mourinho is offered a pot of gold, he usually exchanges it for bigger pots at the end of the season. Having said that, if he succeeded Mancini, he would be faced again with the only player he claimed was unmanageable. But Mario Balotelli might have already stamped his exit visa across Scott Parker’s head.

Mourinho’s  odds: Longer than Balotelli’s Mohawk, but they’ll be shorter than Mario’s fuse if the Blues’ season does not end with an open-top bus parade around Manchester.
 

2)     Manchester United

Just consider these absentees. Nemanja Vidic, Darren Fletcher, Anderson, Rio Ferdinand, Ashley Young, Tom Cleverley and Michael Owen are all injured (in the case of Owen, it’s very hard to tell the difference).  United’s victory at Arsenal left Patrice Evra nursing a sore head. Phil Jones damaged ankle ligaments, Michael Carrick tweaked a hamstring and Wayne Rooney limped off at the end.

Should Sir Alex Ferguson usurp City with a dressing room left over from the D-Day landings then a 20th title will be remembered as his finest. What a fitting epitaph it would be. Not that the emperor of Old Trafford is ready to abdicate, even in his 71st year, but the unexpected return of Paul Scholes hint at a frustrated manager starved of resources, his hands tied by avaricious Americans more focused on debt than domestic supremacy. Age might not whiter Ferguson, but apathetic owners might. Should he retire, then Pep Guardiola remains the people’s choice, but he retains a soft spot for the playful Portuguese.  

Mourinho’s odds:  Slim, but better odds than the Glazers putting their hands in their pockets.

 

3)     Tottenham

Chairman Daniel Levy is looking for a new manager. Of course, he isn’t looking for a new manager publicly. Officially, Spurs are blessed with the incomparable man-management capabilities of Harry Redknapp. They have the most successful English manager working in the Premier League currently (which is a scathing indictment on English coaches; Redknapp won an FA Cup win with Portsmouth and practically bankrupted the club to achieve it). Dreams of Tottenham titles were always accompanied with a note of caution, but finishing above Arsenal in a Champions League spot whilst playing the more attractive football will make for a memorable 2012. But only a miracle will keep Redknapp at White Hart Lane. Best case scenario, he succeeds Fabio Capello after Euro 2012 in his role as The Only Viable England Option among Coaches Whose Mother Tongue Is English. Worst case scenario, well, that doesn’t bear thinking about for the amiable 64-year-old. The prosecution is mounting a lengthy case packed with tax evasion allegations in an ongoing trial. Wherever Redknapp ends up in August, it’s highly unlikely to be North London. Gareth Bale, Scott Parker, Rafael Van der Vaart, Luka Modric and Emmanuel Adebayor (if he stays) will demand a coach capable of building on Redknapp’s platform. There might just be one available...

Mourinho’s odds:  Short, will only get shorter the longer Redknapp’s trial drags on.

 

4)     Chelsea

Andre-Villas Boas is building for the future, but not all his Chelsea pensioners are ready to shuffle off into the Chinese sunset with Nicolas Anelka. Besides, old age breeds nostalgia and fading memories of Jose Mourinho’s domestic doubles. But Roman Abramovich appears settled on Mourinho Mark II for now and the water that has since passed under Stamford Bridge suggest the Russian owner and Mourinho might be better friends than colleagues. Nevertheless, Chelsea’s dozy defending between the centre-backs and Fernando Torres’ ability to waste more shots than a blindfolded barman would have been fixed by Mourinho by now.

Mourinho odds:  Still better than Torres winning the Golden Boot.

 

5)     Arsenal

If you believe what you read in the papers, Arsene Wenger will replace Mourinho. According to the Daily Mail, the beleaguered Gunners boss joins Germany manager Joachim Low as the favourites to take over Los Merengues. Arsenal supporters admired the Frenchman’s unswerving loyalty when he rejected Real’s last approach in 2009, but that admiration is turning to indifference. Arsenal allow Mourinho the perfect opportunity to swap seats with Wenger. A prestigious, respected global brand in London’s capital, the Gunners offer pedigree, a proven track record and a continental coaching structure (aside from Pat Rice, but then he could have been replaced in the dugout by his waxwork model a couple of seasons ago, it’s hard to tell with Pat). What the North Londoners do not guarantee Mourinho is the one thing he cannot work without ... money. He worked his magic on a limited budget at Porto, but won’t be willing to slum it like that again. With a defence in immediate need of tinkering, a disorganised, inconsistent midfield and an over-riding lack of physicality, Arsenal require another Method man. The Gunners are the right club for Mourinho, but the wrong budget.

Mourinho’s odds:  Decent, but I wouldn’t spend any money on it; a bit like Arsenal really.

 

6)     Newcastle

Alan Pardew was expected to be battling relegation. Instead he’s battling to reach Europe. The Magpies are not interested in Mourinho and the feeling is likely to be mutual. Who’d have thought it, supporters preferring Pardew over Mourinho? But then the Geordies prefer to watch their matches topless, so logic is often hard to come by at St James’ Park.

Mourinho’s odds: Andy Carroll has more chance of joining Newcastle

 

7)     Liverpool

When the Reds succumbed to the most humiliating of defeats to Bolton, Mourinho’s name was whispered in darkened corners. When Kenny Dalglish took the most uncharacteristic decision to publicly chastise his Merseyside misfits at a time when the Real Madrid stars went public with criticisms of their misfiring manager, it appeared a done deal. The Liverpool legend deserved better than this. Dalglish risked eating away at his own legacy with every mediocre performance and misguided attempt to defend Luis Suarez. Mourinho, on the other hand, loves to wake a dormant dynasty. He’s interested only in penning fresh chapters in already storied histories. Liverpool ticked every box. The Reds had spent the best part of $400 million on attack-minded players and yet were drifting perilously towards the mid-table deadwood. To criticise Dalglish at Anfield is to skirt the borders of blasphemy. But it was happening. And the thought of Mourinho on Merseyside was increasingly appealing. And then, of course, the Reds found themselves on the road to Wembley. Upsetting Manchester City in the Carling Cup semi-final meant Dalglish had taken his team back to a stadium that was once their second home.  For the first time – collectively - Jordan Henderson, Stewart Downing and Charlie Adam resembled the players pictured in Dalglish’s mind’s eye when he signed them.  Sadly, Andy Carroll remains an irrelevance; even Mourinho’s famed abilities to turn target men into towering terrors might not be enough. Still, a Wembley triumph may yet herald a battle for bigger baubles in the future. Mind you, the same was said of Birmingham City last season.  And if Liverpool miss out on European football for a second successive season, then Mourinho will be back in the frame.

Mourinho’s odds: Fair, for now. But if Liverpool suffer an unlikely Wembley debacle, Mourinho’s hand will shoot up faster than Carroll getting a round in at the bar.




Neil Humphreys

A familiar face to Singaporeans, Humphreys brings his unique humour and unorthodox take on football to miostadium.com. His best-selling books about Singapore, and latest football-related works - Match Fixer and Premier Leech . are must reads for those interested in the dirt and malevolence of football gambling.


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